Kamangir (Archer)

Bush, Chirac, and Ahmadinejad in the Hell

Kamangir | February 28, 2007 | Category Iran

Bush, Chirac, and Ahmadinejad die and arrive in hell. The devil sees their faces and asks, “why are you so depressed?” Bush says “I left USA so fast, I did not have time to kiss my family good bye, I wish I could call the States.” The devil gives him a phone, Bush calls home, talks with his family, gives a couple of instructions to Condi Rice… When he’s finished, the devil asks for 2 million USD, Bush says “What? 2 million bucks? I only spoke for 10 minutes. That’s insane!” The devil answers, “but you are in hell man, that’s some distance call!”

Chirac then tells the devil, “if Bush could call the USA, I want to call France!” And so he does too. When he is finished, devil asks for 3 million Euros. Chirac is shocked: “What? 3 million Euros for 15 minutes talk?”, “well you call from hell…” answers the devil.

Finally, Ahmadinejad asks for the telephone to call Iran. He starts to speak and speak and speak for 5 hours on nuclear energy. When he is finished, he asks, “how much should I pay?” Devil says “5000 Tomans [about 6 USD]“. “Only 5000 Tomans for 5 hours?” asks Ahmadinejad. “Well” says the Devil, “that’s a local call…”

Thanks to ZM.

Cure for Cancer and Asking Allah’s opinion

Kamangir | February 28, 2007 | Category Iran

This is a roundup of what is going on in the Islamic Republic, right now.

Fars had the great news about another “scientific” achievement; “For the first time and thanks to the great efforts of the national experts, the drug which cures Prostate Cancer was produced in Iran”. The report follows, “the head of the drug company Eight [implicitly referring to the eighth Imam] announced the production of the cure for Prostate Cancer, with the scientific name ‘Buserelin‘, for the first time in Iran”. If, like me, you think he is referring to a new discovery, I am afraid you are wrong. The head of the company describes that the drug was formerly imported form France but now that “its production line is installed in Iran” (by whom?), the drug will be sold for one-third of the original price. He adds that the drug also works for infertility.

Reportedly, a deputy to the former IR minister of defence has been disappeared in Turkey. He has had an important role in secret activities of the IR and no one has seen him in twenty days.

Finally, the big news is Ahmadinejad’s trip to Sudan. He flattered Omar-Al-Bashir by saying “the Islamic Republic of Iran finds the development and prosperity of Sudan as its own development and prosperity”. Ahmadinejad has completely learned how to find friends in strange places. I remind you that Darfur happens to be located in Sudan. Also, the IR offered to help Sudan with their nuclear program and Khamenei wished Al-BAshir success with “the problem in western Sudan”.

Before leaving Iran, right in front of the staircase, Ahmadinejad referred to Quran to ask for Allah’s opinion (called Istakhara). As much as I have learned in the ideology classes, to do Istakhara, you think about what you are going to do and then open the Quran. Based on the meaning of what comes out, you decide whether or not to do what you were were going to do. Thus, there is a 50% chance that after Istakhara you would change your mind. Hence, I assume Ahmadinejad, and the pals in Sudan, were quite ready for Allah to order them to forget the trip. I’m wondering if they always do the Istakhara, and if they take it really seriously. Because, I have never heard an official trip being canceled due to an Istakhara.

Ahmadinejad started with the image shown in the above and continued like this:

How To Move a Blog

Kamangir | February 28, 2007 | Category Iran

The experience of moving Kamangir from its Wordpress location to the new one was very exciting and also fascinatingly informative, especially because I know totally nothing about the huge three-word names which seem to relate to crazy stuff in the internet.

First, I should thank the guys in Wordpress for their fantastic work. I have had the experience of moving out from blogger, and it was awful. At the end, I had to use the Wordpress utility which literally steals your posts form blogger. Moving from Wordpress (to wordpress) was just fantastic; export and import. Though, I had to make my hands dirty, only a bit, with the php stuff. I also wish to thank the guy in Blue Host who answered my frequent calls, and it was 4 in the morning (They are not going to give me any discount for this advertisement. I wish they did). Also thanks to Esra’a, Nami, and other friends who answered my emails. Also, thanks to Matthew who became anxious when the new blogger was acting strangely.

Then, the greed came. I thought, why not upload all images in my own host? Knowing that Imageshack it filtered in Iran made more eager to do that. So, I searched the web for a command line downloader, and I found this. Then, the problem was to write down a code which could read the Wordpress exported WXR (is that the actual name of it?) and download all the images and also to correct the links in the WXR.

Strangely enough, I guess, I decided to use MATLAB for this purpose. For those of you who are curious, MATLAB is a mathematical programming language designed for proof-of-concept sort of projects. I thought, I had been seriously using MATLAB for about four years now, for stuff like image processing and optimization, so why not use it for this problem. I did and it (source) worked fantastically well. In fact, what you are looking at now (if you are using the new address/feed), is the product of my tiny MATLAB code. So, thanks to MathWorks.

On The Holocaust(-Denial) Conference

Kamangir | February 27, 2007 | Category Iran

An open letter by a group of Iranian academics, writers, and artists regarding the Tehran Conference on Holocaust Denial

Over the past year or so a number of official and unofficial public statements have been made in Iran denying the genocide of Jews during the Second World War. The culmination of this trend was the widely publicized, so called “International Holocaust Conference”, held in Tehran in December 2006. Given the serious moral and practical implications of this trend, we, a group of Iranian academics, intellectuals, writers and artists, find it imperative to take a public stance on this issue.

Back to the Old Habit, Or Cutting Off Fingers

Kamangir | February 27, 2007 | Category Iran

If you, and frankly I, thought that cutting off hands was something for the past, we were dead wrong. See these,

1- Fars reports that the “commission for stopping electricity cable theft” in Shiraz decided to “cut off cable thieves’ hands in public”.

2- IRNA reports that four fingers of F. Hosseini, 46-year-old male, were cut off in public, yesterday 3pm in Kermanshah. He was convicted for breaking into 22 safes.

Sculpture Symposium in Tehran

Kamangir | February 26, 2007 | Category Iran

The first Tehran International Sculpture Symposium opened in the Chitgar Park. More pictures here.

The Thin Line

Kamangir | February 26, 2007 | Category Iran

The Islamic Republic, Iran’s regime, publishes fake pictures of an aerospace program (1) (2), which there is not independent proof for its existence. As an Iranian, assuming that you are not going to celebrate this “achievement”, you have two options. One, you can assume that you have not heard the news. Two, you can remain fair and impartial, i.e. you have to be honest. This, unfortunately, is very similar to “betraying your country”, if that term has any meaning at all.

Let’s think about the options. Getting silent whenever “your side” is in trouble is nothing but dishonesty, to my understanding. Supporting “your side”, independent of what it does, has no better meaning.

I think it is a right to live your life and not pay attention to politics. It is also a right to speak, and yell, when you think you have something to say. To my understanding, it is not a decent attitude to be selective.

I am just thinking aloud.

Another IR Lie (Updated)

Kamangir | February 26, 2007 | Category Iran

An important update at the end of the post.

Gateway Pundit has discovered that the picture Kayhan used for showing off a successful launch of an Iranian rocket was actually taken “from a California anti-ballistic missile test that took place back in 2004″. Good work, Jim!

Update: Down to the right of the picture, it does say that the picture is decorative, in a tiny font. Thanks to Narjes for the hint.

Kamangir Moved!

Kamangir | February 26, 2007 | Category Iran

The move in done and Kamangir.net is now functional. The contents of Kamangir.wordpress has been transfered to it, including all the comments. For a while, long enough for everyone to catch up, Kamangir.wordpress will be a mirror for Kamangir.net. Please kindly change your bookmark and also your feed (this is the new feed: http://kamangir.net/?feed=rss2).

Hello World!

Kamangir | February 26, 2007 | Category Iran

After about three years of blogging, in Kamangir, I am moving to my own domain. Please do not change your bookmarks yet, though. I still need to do so much before I could migrate.

No Brakes and No Belts

Kamangir | February 25, 2007 | Category Iran

Nikahang Kowsar, Rooz.

Ahmadinejad’s speech, that the nuclear train “is moving ahead and it has neither a brake nor a reverse gear”, is the topic issue in the Blogestan. Behrang used the title “a president with no brake and a nation with no seat-belts”. Mullah Hasani wrote “dear passengers of the nuclear train, we just found out that the train’s brakes do not function. Do not panic. We may, at most, hit something or fell somewhere. Everything is normal…This is our definite right. It is fun to ride a train with no brakes. While we are traversing, you will be served with Yellowcake.” Aknoun sarcastically warns the US to run for their lives. Haji Kensington warns, “our fate train has no brakes…[it is fine, but] if they cannot lay rails enough fast, or if the driver does know not that the rails lead to a valley, then a tiny catastrophe might happen.”

When IR Shows Off, (Update: Oops! The Pictures Are Fake!)

Kamangir | February 25, 2007 | Category Iran

Baztab writes,

It was mentioned in recent days that a satellite has been launched to the orbit, using an enhanced Shahab missile. The mention to be half-tone satellite was claimed to have been launched three weeks ago. In fact, what was launched was a below-orbit satellite which goes above balloons but below satellites…These rockets have little equipment and reach to 50 to 150 kilometers above the surface. The rocket uses solid fuel and its flight time is less than 40 minutes. After the launch, the rocket exhausts its fuel and then returns to the ground using a parachute. The executive deputy of the Aerospace Research Institute stated today that the mentioned rocket does not stay in the orbit.

It seems that Ahmadinejad was up to another fake scientific achievement. These pictures are published by Baztab and probably show the rocket.

Update: The picture are NOT taken in Iran. Gateway Pundit has the story.

Full Speed Towards?

Kamangir | February 25, 2007 | Category Iran

“Bitter Language”, by Nikahang Kowsar, Rooz.

Fars reports that Ahmadinejad attended the national conference of the Clergy and Ideology Authorities in the Police. There, he stated “the enemies have always focused on an issue in the last 28 years and now they have concentrated on the nuclear issue”. He added “the nuclear technology is not just a science or a technology, it is the face off between the world of Supremacy [a name implying those who attempt to be big at the cost of others' suffering] and the power and political management of the revolution. They are not afraid of enrichment or the number of our equipment; they are afraid of the revolution…They know that if they loose this battle they have to give up in the whole world.” Ahmadinejad concluded, “Iran has the technology of [nuclear] fuel enrichment. This train is moving ahead and it has neither a brake nor a reverse gear. We have dismantled and thrown away the brake and the reverse gear last year.”

This is a real picture from Ahmadinejad’s speech.

“Education”

Kamangir | February 24, 2007 | Category Iran

“Belief” [the large text in green]. The black text reads “obtaining nuclear technology, symbol of the Iranian nation’s self-confidence”. A booklet published by the ministry of education for teachers and school children (thanks to Behrang for the correction).

We, Iranians, do all our best to convince everyone that the inhumane events which happen in Iran should be regarded as action of the Islamic Republic, and not of the Iranians. Obviously, the Iranians do not build Shahab Missiles. Neither they pursue a Uranium enrichment program. However, being frank, it’s the average Iranian who is opposed to the rights of the minorities, including non-Muslims and homosexuals, for example. Also, it’s the average Iranian who enthusiastically, and rather ignorantly, talks about sophisticated conspiracy theories by the West and the Zionists. Ever wondered why? To my understanding, among other factors, the “education system” is an important factor. Take these two news, rather proudly reported by Fars,

1- “In order to extend the culture of self-abnegation and martyrdom, the message of martyrdom will be appended to the school books starting next year” said the deputy of martyrs’ [children's] affairs in the ministry of education (link, thanks Balouch for the link).

2- “The introduction to nuclear technology booklet was published for school children and teachers”. According to the public relations’ office in the ministry of education, the booklet “Belief” includes the history of the nuclear technology in the world and also in Iran. The booklet also addresses “the importance of peaceful nuclear energy” as well as “the gang of countries which [want to exclusively] benefit from it”. Fars reports that the preface of the books wishes that “today’s students will produce nuclear scientists to serve as the next generation, after the current young, religious, and creative ones retire” (link).

Let the Propaganda Begin, Or “Norooz 2007″

Kamangir | February 24, 2007 | Category Iran

Recently, Esther literally ordered Iranian bloggers to,

If the media is not interested in presenting this [humanistic] image of Iran, there is no reason why those of us in Iran cannot. I would like to see as many people as possible go out during the Norooz [also written as "norouz", the Iranian new year, March 20th/21st] holidays and take pictures. Upload your pictures and tag them “Norooz 2007″. That’s an order…;-)

So, here it comes the first Norooz post. This is a picture from the festival of designing Norooz cards. More pictures here.

Nuclear Love Affair

Kamangir | February 24, 2007 | Category Iran

Two nuclear-related banners from Ahmadinejad’s recent trip.

“Energy-e Hasteii, Be Jan-e Ma Basteii” literally means “Oh nuclear energy! We will die without you” (pay attention to the rhythm). It is a sentence lovers would say to each other, rewritten to address how much Iranians love the nuclear technology.

“Suspension? Not even for one second!”

IR: A Satellite Has Been Successfully Launched (Updated)

Kamangir | February 24, 2007 | Category Iran

Update: It was a “misunderstanding“.

The picture designed and used by ISNA for the regarding news.

ISNA quotes the head of the Aerospace Research Institute (ARI) announcing the successful launch of the first “researcher equipment” using an Iran-made rocket earlier this year. According to the news, the project has been jointly pursued by the Ministry of defense and the Ministry of Science. “Dr Bahrami did not mention the exact date of launch but stated that the result was successful”, writes ISNA. In another news, speaking with the national television, the defense minister talked about the successful launch of a satellite called Sina.

An “Extraordinarily Ordinary” Crash (Updated)

Kamangir | February 24, 2007 | Category Iran

Fars: The third legion of the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps (Sepah) was deployed to the border with Turkey, to attack “anti-revolution” forces, when the helicopter carrying the commander of the legion crashed, due to “severe climate conditions”. (more).

In an irrelevant news, earlier in the morning, Kayhan, the state-run newspaper, printed this title on its front page: “Extraordinarily Ordinary!”; referring to the leader’s remarks that “there is no state of emergency”. [Thanks to Ina for a better translation.]

Update: Baztab has more details,

The helicopter attempts to carry out an emergency landing, but after a few minutes [before landing?] it explodes and all the passengers get martyred…While the explosion has been reported to have happened due to technical problems or hitting certain objects, the terrorists have claimed to have shutdown the helicopter using SAM-7 missiles.

Update: Gateway Pundit has more.

Return of the UFO?

Kamangir | February 23, 2007 | Category Iran

In a very short report, Fars writes,

The rumors about a plane crashing into ground in Neyshabour [north-east of Iran] are denied. The local chief of Police denied the rumors which started two days ago regarding the crash of an unmanned plane. He added, “those who have started these rumors are agents of the enemy”. He continued, “the same rumor has been mentioned in two other cities in the region”.

p.s. This is the one thousandth post of Kamangir.

Ahmadinejad: Still Alive (Update: Something Is Fishy) (Update: III)

Kamangir | February 23, 2007 | Category Iran

Updates at the end of the post.

Fars reports,

While Ahmadinejad was moving between two cities, during his undergoing trip, one of the cars in the group left the road. Three of his bodyguards were killed in the accident and two others were hospitalized. Reportedly, the two are in critical conditions.

Could you imagine that this could make a billion people’s day?

Update: Fars corrected the report, “no one is killed”.

Update: There are contradicting details in the story.

1- English Fars writes “The five security guards .. are reported to be in a stable but grave condition“. However, Persian Fars writes “the five bodyguards are hospitalized and are getting well”. Mehr adds that they will be transferred to Tehran in a few hours. It is important to remember that Fars did correct its early report that three passengers of the car were killed in the accident.

2- The pictures do not match the story. Furthermore, the pictures in different sources are contradictory. Persian Fars published this picture,

(pic 1)

“Today, they took away a friend”

Kamangir | February 23, 2007 | Category Iran

This is from Mideast Youth,

My friend Kareem has been sentenced to 4 years in prison. 3 years for his stance against Islam and 1 year for ‘defaming the President.’

I have nothing further to say. I don’t know whether to cry or to kick something in anger.

His appeal will be launched on Saturday by his lawyers, but we are told that it won’t do much, I just hope his sentence will at least be decreased.

The fight for his freedom will go on. We’ll work harder with more passion. He really doesn’t deserve this.

Ahmadinejad,

Kamangir | February 22, 2007 | Category Iran

I guess many of us have developed severe addiction to Ahmadinejad’s pictures. For the sake of that, here is a bunch of pictures taken in his current trip to Gilan.

Khameneii: Everything Is Fine

Kamangir | February 22, 2007 | Category Iran

Fars quotes the Supreme Leader saying,

“There is not state of emergency in the country because enemies have always been threatening us during the last 28 years,” he reminded, adding that the Iranian nation has always gained victory in their confrontations with enemies.

Batebi’s Wife Is Abducted, Batebi in Starvation

Kamangir | February 22, 2007 | Category Iran

Ahmad Batebi has reportedly started a dry starvation after hearing the reports about the abduction of his wife, Somaiieh Bayenat. His wife’s brother mentioned to BBC earlier today that his sister has been arrested by individuals resembling intelligence personnel, after they showed her a document, probably an arrest warrant. A few minutes before her abduction, in a phone call, she told one of her friends that she felt like being followed for the whole day. Mohammad Abtahi, a close aide to the former president compares Batebi’s case with Jazayeri, the corrupt businessman who fled recently, and writes, “I am afraid he did not have the money to escape”. Both the Police and the Intelligence deny any involvement in the incident.

Protest in Iran, Against UK, France, Vatican, and Italy

Kamangir | February 22, 2007 | Category Iran

ISNA reports,

Students from the University of Tehran gathered in front of the embassies of UK, France, Vatican, and Italy to protest against the destruction of Al Aqsa, and the policies of the Zionist regime, America, and the West….in the anniversary of the destruction of the twin shrines in Iraq…Saeed Aboutaleb [a conservative MP from Tehran] gave a speech at the end of the gathering.

These are pictures from the event.