Kamangir (Archer)

An Iranian looking at Iran as a foreigner…

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Iran-US Face-Off goes Sci-Fi: Spy Squirrels and Godly UFOs

By Kamangir • Jul 6th, 2007 • Category: Humour, Iran, Islam

spysquirrel.jpg1- According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information”. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Police”.

alien-signature-series-classic-statue.jpg2- The Iranian blogger Gameeron reports that he has heard on a state-run radio station that a cleric has been talking about the twelfth Imam, who is supposed to rise and make earth all Godly. He has reportedly mentioned, “It is not like Imam will use his sword to defeat the enemies. Have you not heard about the occasional news about the UFOs which are spotted in the sky? We know nothing about the passengers of those objects. Maybe, Imam will use UFOs to attack his enemies. Because, when the time comes, he will call you guys and will tell you, ‘You! Go and become the governor of London, You! Go and become the governor of Shicago. You! Go and become the governor of Berlin. You have to be ready for the time, when he calls on you to become the governor of Paris’”.

Posted by Kamangir
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15 Responses »

  1. Bloodthirsty Liberal » Alvin and the Commando Chipmunks on July 7th, 2007 at 11:09 am:

    [...] The invaluable Kamangir is still getting the good stories out of Iran, even as opposition newspapers are closed left and right: According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information”. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Police”. [...]

  2. Roman Kalik on July 7th, 2007 at 6:00 pm:

    So *this* is what the Rescue Rangers are up to these days, eh? How the mighty have fallen.

    And the UFO thing is just hilarious. Sad, yes, but still hilarious.

  3. Ahwazi on July 7th, 2007 at 10:31 pm:

    These things are so funny but funnier is the fact that these guys are still ruling the country :-(

  4. erinther on July 8th, 2007 at 11:57 pm:

    Can you please vote to this Urgent Press Release: Jafar Kiani Stoned on July 5, Mokarrameh Ebrahimi in Eminent Danger
    link

  5. Robert on July 9th, 2007 at 1:29 am:

    I tried searching the IRNA site (in English) and wasn’t able to find any articles on “spy squirrels.”

    Kamangir: IRNA, and other news sources, do not translate all their news in English. I assure you that I have given a proper translation of the Persian source. Unfortunately, Google does not provide English-Persian translation, yet.

  6. trainer on July 9th, 2007 at 3:27 am:

    Whew, at least they haven’t found the hamsters yet.

  7. Winston on July 10th, 2007 at 1:38 am:

    Ridiculous regime acts as such! Hate them all

  8. Gleeful Gecko » Blog Archive » Squirrel Ninjas Strike on July 10th, 2007 at 6:29 am:

    [...] when not savagely attacking schools and spreading plague have enlisted as surveillance ninjas. Is there no stopping these [...]

  9. Hooah Wife and friends » Blog Archive » And They Work For Peanuts on July 10th, 2007 at 3:30 pm:

    [...] IRNA reported, but has since taken it down, that Iran has captured 14 squirrels equipped with foreign listing devises. And when you want to send the very best quadruped spy on the planet, why, you [...]

  10. fionn mccumhail on July 10th, 2007 at 5:52 pm:

    This is hilarious. It shows islamic paranoia at its finest. Spy squirrels indeed. Do the Iranian people actually believe all this hogwash?

  11. Chris on July 10th, 2007 at 6:34 pm:

    They weren’t listening devices. They were actually tiny MP3 players all loaded to play Avril’s song “Girlfriend” and Lily Allen’s song “Smile” at 2am.

  12. Sunny on July 12th, 2007 at 7:25 pm:

    UK Solves the Iraq Problem: Badgers…

    I bleep you not.British blamed for Basra badgers British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious
    badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra. Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange
    man-eating,……

  13. Dr Atomic on July 13th, 2007 at 9:13 am:

    I saw the Spy Squirrels warming up for Man Eating Badger back in ‘87. Helluva show!

  14. archenemy blog » Major intelligence setback in WOT on July 15th, 2007 at 3:37 pm:

    [...] Those clever Iranians are on to us: According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information”. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Police”. [...]

  15. Eri on August 15th, 2007 at 4:07 pm:

    Can I be Govenor of the Cleveland when the UFO’s atack?

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